Home Experiences Talking Really Does Help

Talking Really Does Help


By Jasmine Roebuck

My journey has taken me in all sorts of directions. However, I’ve only embraced learning about myself in the last 12 months. I’ve been a big supporter of mental health awareness for years. Sadly, I’ve even sacrificed my own in my desire to support others.

I am very guilty of pushing my emotions to the side and putting a smile on my face to be seen as a strong, independent woman.

I find it easier to lock these emotions away and help other people instead, rather than be seen as ‘vulnerable’, which I felt was being seen as weak.

I have learnt over the last few months that it is NOT weak to have emotions or express vulnerability. There is strength in this and I’m flipping that mind-set on its head slowly but surely.

I spent so many years thinking I couldn’t be seen crying or be open about experiences, so I just got on with my life suppressing them and being seen as the ‘logical one’ in my network.

Supporting my friends and family is a huge part of who I am. I felt that if I wasn’t holding my s**t together then why would they trust me to support them? ‘How can someone who is emotional and struggling with her own experiences be able to help anyone else?’ I would think.

I chose helping others over asking for help myself. I dislike the word regret; however, this is one thing I wish I had started changing sooner.

I spoke to a close friend about these ruminations. After I had time to analyse why I felt this way, part of me did not know what to expect when I approached her about it but I know this particular friend is extremely supportive and her response was exactly what I needed to hear.

She told me that no matter what she would be there for me. She reassured me that everyone has things going on in their lives so I should not be ashamed to speak up if I was having a bad day or needed a chat.

I did not doubt any part of her response but just to hear those words reassured me no end. The way my mind rationalises this is strange. It’s almost as if I must have permission before ‘venting’ or discussing negative emotions with a friend. I end up invalidating my own experiences and overthink before I open up.

On the one hand, for me to feel comfortable sharing my negative emotions then I must make sure I am not overstepping someone else’s boundaries and that is the right thing to do. I am learning that on a daily basis as I don’t want to make anyone’s situation worse.

Conversely, I must also make sure I don’t compare my experiences to others. I need to feel comfortable in opening up without thinking someone else’s trauma is ‘worse’ than mine.

I found that for me to feel comfortable sharing then I had to have a full understanding as to what or why I was feeling those things to ensure I have all the answers, if questions were asked.

My mind is slowly learning that it is ok to talk and that I can choose who I share things with – it isn’t an overnight fix and I know I won’t be able to just discuss negativity with anyone! I also do not have to have all the answers.

I find it laughable (now) that I am the first person to advise my friends, family and small social media followers that talking and sharing your problems will help – it is not weak to speak. How hypocritical of me?

Now I have finally taken that advice I can back this up and say that talking does work wonders, even just to lighten the load a little.

I am working through my own experiences and I know that soon I’ll be able to share the lessons learnt from my ‘story’ in a deeper way but I know for a fact I would not be in the position I am right now without talking. Hopefully this is a great start.

If anyone is struggling to talk or doesn’t know who to talk to or how to reach out, I am always happy to have a chat – as cliché as it is, my DM’s are always open.

Jasmine is an experienced Event Manager; currently studying for a BA(hons) in Business Management.

Read more articles like this in our Experiences section. 


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.