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By Sam Backer

I’ve exhausted dreams
and words to find you.

And still I’m blind as love
stumbling through exhausted clichés

without you.

I have killed music
and slaughtered lyrics

to depict you,
yet nothing I do

brings me any closer to you

You might not even be

a forgotten face in a void—

but I don’t care, I don’t care
I won’t rest until I do.

Why now after almost a score
of years do you wake in me

a buried memory
that should not be exhumed?

I fear that this road
I follow is paved

with dead loves
and fatal tales.

He didn’t tell me much,
just left me stranded

on a sinking boat
in the sea of my question

But then again, I hardly
knew him.

He did to me what you did,
I hardly knew him.

And when I find you,
what then?
You know me not

to want me.

I wonder if you even
put up a fight

or just gladly washed
your hands and carried on

burden less.

Or is there a tragic story
that will smother my pain?

But I swear
I’ll catch time and drag her back

through nineteen years of lies.
Silent as smoke but just as deadly

I’ll come to you and
punch you in the fucking throat

Then I’ll tell you that
I love you,


Read more poems like this in our poetry section.

You can follow Sam on Instagram @Kthetrip.

Photo by Manuel Inglez on Unsplash.


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