In episode 132 of The Just Checking In Podcast, we checked in with male detransitioner TullipR.
Tullip is based in the UK and contacted us after our JCIP with Limpidă to share his story.
Tullip started life as a very gender non-conforming child but struggled with being small and effeminate. He said he had a lot of internalised homophobia after coming to the realisation he was gay.
Tullip suffered from intense and debilitating panic attacks from a very early age and was hospitalised with one when he was just 4 years old.
Tullip admits he externalised the battle he was having onto other kids and was a bully in his primary school years. However, when he got to secondary school and he failed to develop in size and height like the rest of his peers, in a rough peer group, his effeminate nature and being small led him to being bullied and horrifically abused himself.
When he was 10 years old, he was also spending a huge amount of time on his computer and began to go on internet chatrooms and was groomed by older men who sexually abused him online.
By the time he was 13 years old he became an agoraphobe and he stopped going outside regularly for the best part of 15 years.
Combining this with gender dysphoria, Tullip began to struggle immensely with his mental health.
Tullip has a high diagnosed OCD and is still in the process of getting a diagnosis for autism.
By the time he’s in his early 20s, he is on trans chatrooms and asked other users if he was trans because of the symptoms he was experiencing. They affirmed him and he came out as trans and began the process to present as female.
He became convinced that he needed gender reassignment surgery. However, this went horribly wrong.
Despite the doubts he had about the surgery, he thought that if he didn’t do this, he would die. The surgery had huge complications and he has now been left without gonads and may be on HRT for the rest of his life.
His urethra was constricted and shortened through three separate surgeries and he must live with the complications of this forever.
We discuss all of this and more in our conversation with Tullip.
As always, #itsokaytovent
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TRIGGER WARNING: This podcast contains a deep and detailed discussion about sexual abuse and self-harm, which some listeners may find extremely upsetting or distressing so please listen with caution.
