In episode 210 of The Just Checking In Podcast we checked in with academic Dr Emily Setty.
Emily is a Senior Lecturer at the University of Surrey and focuses on research around young people and their relationships, harmful sexual behaviour and online harms.
In this episode we tackle the issue of consent education and wider sex education for young people today, especially young men.
We discuss why so many young men are scared of having false allegations of sexual abuse made against them, how this has happened and the implications of it on their ability to develop meaningful relationships as men as adults.
We break down the myth of ‘oppressor vs oppressed’ label that some parts of society are seeking to paint boys and girls with and how we educate both sexes properly about this issue without alienating one over the other.
We also discuss how we educate boys how to spot the signs of coercive control and domestic abuse in their relationships and the importance of building trust in boys in order for them to discuss their mental health issues or others openly in group settings without resorting to comedy, self-deprecation or bravado.
We finish this topic by discussing the biological differences between men and women when it comes to mental health and the importance of avoiding a once-size-fits-all approach to young men’s mental health.
For Emily’s mental health, Emily’s father died suddenly when she was 21 years old after suffering with mental health difficulties for most of her life and addiction.
We discuss how the grief affected her and why she took on a support role for the rest of her family, unfortunately to the detriment of her own mental health.
After starting her job as a university lecturer, a combination of factors led to her developing an Eating Disorder, specifically Anorexia.
We discuss how and why it developed, how the medical system treated it and how she overcame it.
We finish by discussing how that grief for her father manifested in people-pleasing in her adult life, how she put positive mechanisms in place to manage it and the reaction people-pleasers in recovery receive from other people when they finally set positive boundaries.
As always, #itsokaytovent
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