In episode 286 of The Just Checking In Podcast we checked in with Matthew Ayres.
Matt works in recruitment and is the current partner of great friend of the pod and Just Checking In Live (JCIL) #6 headliner Jade Morgan Kelly.
We met Matt at JCIL #6, and he told us he wanted to share his story on the podcast.
Matt grew up in Exeter, in Devon, and when he was around 16/17 years old, he was told by his mum that his dad, the man he had thought was his dad for his entire life up to that point, was not actually his dad and was actually his step-dad.
Naturally, his entire worldview collapsed and he spent the next few years trying to figure out who his biological father was, and also who he was too.
Eventually, after setting up an Ancestry account, which allowed him to find out who his biological uncle was and connect with him, he discovered who his dad was and met him for the first time in a pub in East London.
Since then, Matt and his dad have met up several times since and have as good a relationship as can be expected when their lives took such different paths.
It’s important to state that Matt’s dad had no idea he existed and was not told that the mother of his first child was even pregnant, so neither Matt nor us at VENT place any blame on his dad for being absent for most of his life up to this point.
In this episode we chart this journey, how meeting a ‘high-performance coach’ that his workplace had in place helped him massively with his mental health, the periods in his childhood where he rebelled against his step-father, not even knowing he wasn’t his dad, the moment he discovered who his dad was and that first meeting with him.
We also discuss the stigmas that still exist for men’s mental health and question if we need to change the language around therapy to encourage more men who do need it to seek it out?
And finally, how we need to move from crisis strategies and campaigns for men to more preventative strategies, so we don’t have men seeking help for the first time when they are always in crisis mode.
As always, #itsokaytovent
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