In episode 289 of The Just Checking In Podcast we checked back in with Dean Corney.
Dean Corney is a firefighter and the Co-Founder of Walk & Talk 999, a men’s walk and talk organisation in the UK for any man in the emergency services to walk and talk about their mental health, if they want to, and be met with empathy, trust and understanding.
We first checked in with Dean in March 2023, in JCIP #203 where we discussed the origins of the organisation, some of its highlights since it was formed and the power of the walk & talk.
We also discussed Dean’s firefighting career, the hero complex which some firefighters can develop and which can stop them from seeking help when they develop mental health issues.
We then discussed a period around 13 years ago where he struggled with depression and which developed into an eating disorder.
Since we last checked in, Walk & Talk 999 has gone from strength to strength, with 17 walks now across the UK. It has grown to the point where it’s now Dean’s full-time role and we discuss the transition he has had to do away from firefighting and having a ‘watch’ of other firefighters to work with every day.
We also discuss the impact he’s seen his talks and presentations have on his fellow firefighters, how he builds the trust with them to help them disclose to him and how he encourages them to take action with their mental health after disclosure.
For Dean’s continued mental health journey, we discuss a significant period of grief where he lost both his grandparents fairly close together, both of whom developed dementia. He lost his grandad 2 years ago, and then his nan died around seven/eight months later.
After they both died, Dean naturally put other members of his family first before dealing with his own grief and also shunned affection from others. Dean’s emotional reaction to this grief is something he is still trying to work out, but he believes stems from his childhood.
We explore this juxtaposition and how it might link to that hero complex from firefighting, how he processed the grief and how he feels about the grief now.
We also discuss how he deflects not just physical affection in times of grief but also praise and compliments when he has received them, whether that’s after doing one of his talks or in general life.
We finish by discussing the link between physical health and mental health as Dean had blurred vision in one of his eyes which forced him to wear glasses for two years.
He then broke his Achilles and was house-bound for six months but it was during this recovery period that he discovered his eyes were clear when he took off his glasses and found out from speaking to medical professionals that the blurred vision was stress-related.
We discuss how he’s prioritised his self-care after that moment and gained greater awareness of how his body, and his mind can damage the other when one is out of sync.
As always, #itsokaytovent
You can listen to Part 1 of Dean’s journey here.
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