In episode 386 of The Just Checking In Podcast we checked in with Conner Derelioglu.
Conner is a sales professional working in the healthcare industry but is also an author. He published his first children’s book ‘Kili and Nakoa’ in February 2024.
The story centres on Nakoa, an old man whom a young man called Kili meets while surfing one morning.
The message of the book is ‘Embrace the chop’, which teaches readers that even the roughest waves can be ridden with help from others.
We came across Conner because he did a video on his Instagram about his new tattoo ‘Too Easy!’, which was inspired by two brothers called Max and Jacob Tilk.
Maxie as he is affectionately known, has a severe form of Autism but he brings so much joy to his brother and his Instagram shows his audience that not only is he capable of so much in life, he has a stable job he loves but also does videos taking him out of his comfort zone and teaching him important life skills.
One of Maxie’s popular vocal stims is ‘Too Easy!’ which he says when Jacob asks him if he can do a particular task, a way of saying I’ve got this and I can do it.
Conner also has a brother called Riley, who is severely autistic too. He is four and a half years older than Riley, who was diagnosed with autism aged 2 years old. He is able to function at a high level but he is non-verbal.
Thanks to the incredible support of Conner and his Mum and Dad, Riley has been able to become a functioning member of society and achieve great things.
That doesn’t mean he doesn’t experience challenges every day, and Conner and his family have experienced challenges helping Riley, and its important to make space for both these conversations.
In this episode, we discuss Conner’s experience of mental health challenges, including struggling in school and loneliness and isolation he felt when he moved to university, away from his hometown of Houston, Texas.
In this period, Conner experienced panic attacks and its worst, suicidal ideation.
What got him through it was two things: a strong support network of friends who reached in and checked in on him, and his Christian faith.
We discuss his faith journey from childhood, to college and now, and have a nuanced conversation about his relationship with his brother and the reality of what its like to be a caregiver for someone with severe autism and additional needs.
We then do a deep dive into his book, how he conceived the idea of the ‘embrace the chop’ mantra, getting the ‘Too Easy’ tattoo and what it signifies for him and his brother, and his dream of one day building a community which can house, educate and support people with special needs.
As always, #itsokaytovent
You can follow Conner on social media below:
TRIGGER WARNING: this podcast contains a discussion about suicide and suicidality, which some listeners may find distressing or upsetting, so please listen with caution.
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