By Freddie Cocker
In August 2025, I was formally diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), which means I have a dual diagnosis of AuDHD (autism and ADHD).
This is naturally a big moment for anyone in their life, and I felt it was necessary to give myself a lot of time and space over the rest of the year to process it before speaking about it publicly.
Despite my high expectation that I would be diagnosed with ADHD, the reality of that confirmation versus how you think you’ll feel is naturally different in many aspects.
In the first few weeks and months post-diagnosis, I began to share this news privately with friends and colleagues. Almost everyone reacted overwhelmingly positively, with reactions like:
- ‘We always knew Fred’ (said very affectionately)
- ‘I’m glad you finally have clarity’
- ‘I hope this gives you what you need from it’
If they weren’t any of the above, it was a nonchalant shrug of the shoulders, recognition and the conversation moved on. Sometimes that’s been better than a deep dive into it after I’ve disclosed.
However, there have been a couple of reactions which I’ve found unhelpful, including:
- ‘Wasn’t it obvious?’
- ‘Doesn’t everyone have a bit of ADHD?’
The former I find patronising and implies I should have self-diagnosed myself decades ago (something I’m very against) and the latter trivialises ADHD as a condition itself.
Supplementing my autism diagnosis I received in 2024, and the dual diagnosis I received for anxiety and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (which I now prefer to call a Post-Traumatic Stress Injury), there is a dark hilarity to the fact I now have received four different diagnoses by the age of 31 years old.
On the other hand, I now hopefully have total clarity on how my brain works, and the self-awareness to move forward with this new chapter in my life with confidence.
Diagnosis
As I said in my previous article on my autism diagnosis, I was recommended by the healthcare professionals who assessed me for autism to also be screened for ADHD. Up until that point, I did not consider myself to have ADHD. I saw other boys in my primary or secondary school who were known to have ADHD and did not recognise myself in them. They were, colloquially ‘ADHD as fuck’.
Sometimes they had teaching assistants (TA) with them in class, had learning difficulties or Special Educational Needs or Disabilities (SEND). Some would have anger management and emotional regulation issues and they couldn’t sit still in any lesson, no matter the subject. Now I realise I was also one of those children in the classroom. The key difference with me was I was academic and at times could mask the ADHD for long enough periods to get by under the radar.
I was also academic in many subjects, and excelled in the subjects I enjoyed (History, English, Religious Studies, Drama, Politics etc). I never needed a TA and I went through the school system without ever being flagged for ADHD. This is despite looking back, exhibiting many red flags. However, the sad reality is that in the mid-2000s the education system wasn’t built for young boys who had ADHD, wherever they were on the spectrum.
I did share some of those boys’ educational experience in that some of my secondary school teachers absolutely loved me and never had a problem with me, whilst a small group of other teachers didn’t, and either thought I was disruptive or I challenged them too much, which probably made them uncomfortable.
For the subjects I didn’t enjoy or struggled with (maths, science, art), I would do poorly and would need to work very hard to reach a semi-decent grade in my GCSEs. Luckily in the case of art, I dropped it after Year 9 and spared my teachers further embarrassment at my complete inability to draw anything above a stick man.
I have told this story many times privately of when I was in nursery and my teachers told my mum I should be tested for being deaf as I was so incredibly loud (even for a 3–4-year-old). She took me to my family GP, assessed me and said, ‘there’s nothing wrong with his ears, he’s just very loud’. Life moved on.
I also loved drama and the arts and performing in school productions. I was the only child who was never told to ‘trail off’ when delivering lines because my voice was naturally loud.
However, like my autism diagnosis, I was very cautious about confirming I had ADHD until I had taken specific steps in my mind.
With my autism, I was diagnosed by my GP, my therapist and the two medical professionals I was screened by privately. This was the same with my ADHD. I recognise I am speaking from a position of financial privilege in being able to afford to do this, when thousands of people are stuck on NHS waiting lists, waiting to be screened but for me, holding the position I do now with VENT, I feel a big responsibility to do this the right way for me, and to provide an example for others in avoiding the pitfalls which could result in a mis-diagnosis or someone misinterpreting a few traits or just normal behaviours and pathologising them.
As Suzanne O’Sullivan talks about in her book, ‘The Age of Diagnosis: How the Overdiagnosis Epidemic is Making Us Sick’, there is an argument against expanding the definitions of conditions like ADHD or autism, and overmedicalising people who do not need it. There are also many people who may not need the label of whatever condition they may have. It may limit them, reduce their self-esteem or confidence or provide an unnecessary limit on the potential they feel they have in life.
There are some who argue that there is an overdiagnosis of ADHD in the UK. I am not informed enough to argue a position either way, but this discourse was the reason I took more time to disclose publicly, because of the sheer numbers of people being diagnosed last year and speaking publicly about it.
To address this trend, in December 2025 the UK Government announced it was launching an independent review into the diagnosis of conditions like ADHD, autism and others. I am interested to discover what their findings will be.
I can only speak for myself and my own experience, and I believe that I needed this assessment to have complete clarity (whether I was diagnosed or not), so I could understand myself better and help others understand me better too.
As an aside, I also found it hilarious that the medical professionals didn’t even need to send me the diagnosis report for ADHD to confirm if I was diagnosed, such was the apparent obvious and varied traits I exhibited during the assessment.
Traits
I will avoid repeating myself here, as many of the ADHD traits I have I discussed in my previous article on autism and I now know some of those relate to it. For example, being able to hyperfocus (a 9,000+ word article is a pretty good example of that!) and being unfiltered.
I also don’t think it’s helpful for me to go in-depth into some of the traits that the ADHD presents when it comes to the challenges it has presented for me in my personal and professional life.
This is because despite the amazing progress we have made around education and awareness of ADHD, I still feel there is A) a lot of rubbish spoken about in the mainstream on it which is unhelpful, and B) a lot of people will preach inclusivity around conditions like ADHD and autism, but when they are confronted with uncomfortable traits that ADHD can present, they respond with stigmatising attitudes. Thankfully, in the job I work in now and most (not all) of the other workplaces I have been in, I’ve been supported in being fully myself. I am 100% or 0% – I can never be 20% for a long period of time.
My advice for anyone with ADHD themselves and are struggling in this part of life would be; always watch what people do, as well as what they say…
In addition, as one of my favourite authors Darren McGarvey talks about in his most recent book, ‘Trauma Industrial Complex: How Oversharing Became a Product in a Digital World’, oversharing can provoke feelings of guilt, shame and more stigma post-disclosure. I am very self-aware now that I am a chronic ‘over sharer’ as a result of both my autism and ADHD, and I wish to avoid doing that in this piece as much as I can.
Self-awareness
After I received the ADHD diagnosis, I purchased a brilliant and life-affirming book called ‘Explaining AuDHD: Recognise it, Embrace it and Thrive with it’ by Dr Khurram Sadiq.
As I read it, it was so accurate to my life, it felt like he had done an MRI scan on my brain and transferred the results directly into the book. I would recommend it to anyone who has a dual diagnosis like me.
The first thing I was surprised to learn in the book is that until 2013, it wasn’t possible to diagnose someone with both autism and ADHD simultaneously. Sadiq states that the research is also confusing for the prevalence of this in people too: “some suggest that among those diagnosed with ADHD, around 15 per cent also have autism, while others state that among those with autism, 30-70 per cent have ADHD.”
Sadiq talks in-depth about how traits in ADHD and autism overlap, one example which spoke to me is distraction. In this respect, noise-cancelling headphones have been one of the greatest inventions ever made for people like me. However loud you think I am, my brain is x100 louder!
Sadiq describes noise-cancelling headphones as “creating a personal bubble of calm amid the noise.” This is a perfect description. When I have them on and I am quietening my brain by listening to a podcast or music at home or at work, I can concentrate on all the tasks I need to complete, focus on where I need to go if I’m travelling and direct myself or complete life admin I would struggle to do if I was doing it in silence. Silence to me is poison to my brain. Awkward silence is even worse!
I also wear them for other people’s benefit. Loud noise all around me can be incredibly distracting, and when these are on, I won’t be disturbing anyone else either.
Likewise, if podcasts quieten my ADHD, music activates it.
When it comes to my lack of filter in autism, it is due to a desire for factual discourse. My brain finds small talk pointless and boring, and as a child, I struggled to understand why people were taking offence to what I saw as facts. This comes down to understanding social cues and reading people, both of which took me a long time to learn, and the latter I still struggle with for certain people who are not as emotionally expressive as others.
On the other hand, the lack of filter when it comes to my ADHD is due to the impulse in my brain which sends a signal that I need to say the thought that pops into my head. I have worked very hard to control this impulse (some might say the jury is still out on that one!). For most people, thoughts like this can flow in and out of their brains with little consequence or further thought given to them. This is not the case for people like me, and it is why you may encounter other people with ADHD who frequently interrupt your conversations with them and appear rude as a result.
This is also something I have worked very hard on over the years, and those who still struggle with it have likely not been able to work out how to quieten that part of their brain and cannot control that impulse to adapt to social settings.
Most people would probably describe me as passionate about the things I enjoy and that comes from my personality but is also influenced by both the autism and the ADHD. With the former, these ‘special interests’ are hobbies or interests I will obsessively learn about and study, whether that’s music, sport, TV & film, literature, politics, anime, theatre etc. Combine that with the ADHD and this provokes a double cocktail in my brain to speak both rapidly when a special interest is triggered and also passionately.
When in full flow, this brain-splurge becomes almost trance-like. This is until you come out of it after a period and you can see the other person is either exhausted, annoyed at you or both and regrets ever bringing the subject up. Again, years of training my brain to actively slow my brain and speech down has helped with this, as well as setting appropriate boundaries with people and providing conversational social cues about how my brain works.
I often use the analogy that my brain is like a large bath with a series of taps on it. Each tap represents a special interest, and once that tap is turned on, it’s very hard to turn off. I would rather give this information to them prior to a conversation starting than getting myself in massive trouble further down the line.
This combination also plays into my relationship with novelty. My favourite quote from Sadiq’s book is on this subject when he says: “autism does not like novelty unless it’s planned” and this could not be a more accurate reflection of my life. My diary is planned anywhere from 3-9 months in advance; train tickets, hotels, gigs, comedy shows, theatre trips. As Sadiq states, I find immense comfort in “knowing that every detail is accounted for, allowing them to navigate their world with confidence and predictability.” Preparing to this level also ensures I don’t forget something, which will then provoke anxiety and cause me to rush, which is one of my biggest triggers.
This is not to say I can’t be spontaneous, but it must be for others i.e. planning a surprise birthday party for them, surprise gifts etc. But if that was imposed on me, or someone tried to change the structure to my week, I would instantly feel unsettled.
However, the ADHD part of my brain is constantly seeking novelty within my defined set of special interests: new people to meet, new podcast guests, new books, new films, new music, new TV shows, new skills to learn, the list goes on and on. This gives me that regular dopamine hit I crave and keeps my brain active and quiet.
On the other hand, in many other parts of my life, the autism part of my brain craves and needs repetition to function: the same lunch every day, the same 12/13 meals I have on a weekly rotation, the same skincare routine, the same morning routine. This duality could be the reason I slipped through the diagnostic net when I was younger as perhaps people couldn’t work out what ‘box’ I belonged to.
In recent months, I have also begun to wonder if my ADHD is louder than my autism? Does my autism also counteract some negative traits/behaviours associated with ADHD and vice versa? I.e. Would I struggle with time management without the organisational traits associated with autism? Would I be socially awkward without the overfamiliarity, novelty and hyperactivity associated with the ADHD? Would I have the music knowledge I have without both the autism and ADHD in tandem?
In addition, would I be able to play an instrument without the autism that I always dreamed of having the ability to do? Would I be semi-decent enough to play in a football team without the autism? All of these questions have naturally gone through my head now I have this dual diagnosis.
In summary, if I had to anthropomorphise the autism and ADHD parts of my brain, the ADHD would be the character Donnie from Nickelodeon’s TV show ‘The Wild Thornberries’, voiced by The Red Hot Chilli Peppers bassist, ‘Flea’ (a reference for the 90s kids!).
The autism part of my brain would be Michael from Channel 4’s reality TV show ‘The Undateables’, although I hope with slightly better social skills, bless his heart.
Both these well-meaning and legendary lads do their best to get me in trouble in various parts of my life and every single minute of my day is spent either shutting them up, or harnessing them in a way which helps me, not hinders me.
Bigotry of low expectations
Before I reflect, I want to challenge a few irritations I have with the current conversation around ADHD.
In recent years, the increase in awareness and reduction in stigma has unfortunately been accompanied by a worrying excuses culture and bigotry of low expectations. For example, when someone is late for an appointment, a common parlance I see from some ‘ADHD influencers’ will be ‘sorry I’m late, I have ADHD!’ I find this incredibly annoying. Yes, ADHD may provide problems for you in organising your calendar or life, but lateness is a sign of disrespect, and you simply don’t value the other person’s time. Do better, and don’t use your ADHD as a scapegoat. If you are liable to do this, learn the right time-management tools that work for you to stop this happening.
If you are bad at replying to people on your phone because of your ADHD, send a voice note or call that person instead. Don’t let a trait cause you to lose touch with friends and loved ones. It is just a trait at the end of the day. It should not define you.
Moving Forward
It is strange to think that it’s taken me to reach the age of 31 years old before I have this clarity on my mental health and life. However, I also know from speaking to many people, that it can take some until their 40s, 50s and even 60s before they receive a diagnosis they needed for themselves. And for that, I’m grateful I have this when I am still relatively young and can now move forward alongside these conditions.
Since being diagnosed, like the evolution of my views on PTSI, I wonder why we still label this condition as a ‘disorder’, rather than a ‘difference’. Surely it would help the hundreds of thousands of people in the UK living with this to not have that stigmatising term imposed upon them?
There is nothing broken about them, and in my view, making this simple tweak in language would encourage self-development and self-awareness, abate feelings of denial and engender a more positive conversation about it across society.
On the other hand, I also think its important to state that although the world has made adjustments to millions of people with conditions like ADHD, autism, dyslexia, dyspraxia etc, at the end of the day, the harsh truth is that we who have these conditions must adjust and blend into the world as best we can. This is a sad fact of life. The world cannot constantly be adjusting to us, at the expense of others. This will not lead to a harmonious society in the long-term.
I am glad I have this AuDHD diagnosis in 2025 rather than pre-2013, where I may have struggled to obtain one, and I may have fought against being given this descriptor anyway, due to my previous perceptions of both these conditions.
It’s a small thing but it’s great to now have a response for uninformed or ignorant questions I have had throughout my life from people who say things like:
- Are you happy all the time?
- Why are you so loud?
- Do you ever turn off?
Now to all of those questions, I can drop the proverbial mic and say, ‘autism and ADHD mate!’ and quickly put them back in their box!
Final Thoughts
I am conscious of the fact that I stated I would not overshare but I have still managed to write over 3,500 words in this article. It’s not over 9,000 so there’s an improvement there from my autism article at least!
This will be the first and last time I write about my ADHD in this way and to this extent. I am happy giving a voice to other people with these conditions through VENT and the podcast going forward and I would like to steer clear of the influencers opining about it online as much as possible if I can.
In my efforts not to self-diagnose, I used to joke to people privately that I had traits of four different mental health/neurological conditions without having any but now I realise I do indeed have all of those conditions!
I know I am not perfect, and I don’t think anyone ever reaches ‘full actualisation’ (whatever that looks like) but this is as close to knowing myself as I’ve ever felt, and that can only be a good thing.
Freddie Cocker is the Founder and CEO of VENT.
Sources:
- The Invisible Machine: The Startling Truth About Trauma and the Scientific Breakthrough That Can Transform Your Life – Dr Eugene Lipov and Jamie Mustard
- The Age of Diagnosis: Are Medical Labels Doing Us More Harm Than Good? – Suzanne O’Sullivan
- Trauma Industrial Complex: How Oversharing Became a Product in a Digital World – Darren McGarvey
- Explaining AuDHD: The expert-led guide to Autism and ADHD Co-concurrence – Dr Khurram Sadiq
